Frequently Asked Questions
- What has happened with recent family deaths? You may wish to follow the trend
- If unsure; ask a relative if the matter was ever discussed with them – at least they may reassure you that your choice will be acceptable to the wider family
- If asking a relative is not an option – discuss the options with us and we will illustrate your choices, together with costs
- If you feel that it should be your decision only; the first consideration should be: “Do I need a place (grave) to visit afterwards and remember, or place flowers?” “Will I want a memorial stone on the grave – or, a living memorial (tree or shrub)?”
- If your loved-one made no reference to their own funeral – it means that they trust you to make the right decision when the time comes
- If your choice is burial in a cemetery or churchyard, we can provide a memorial stone to mark the grave of your loved-one. Talk to us about options
- A funeral is a public event. You cannot physically prevent a person from attending a funeral – however, you can take steps to try and ensure it is not publicly announced. The main let-down in this regard is via social media; by someone who is careless and thoughtless – or, who simply does not agree with you in this matter
- Do not publish an announcement in the newspaper – although, you may choose to do so after the funeral has taken place
- Request that the name does not appear on the published list of funerals outside the crematorium that day – we can arrange this for you
- Church funerals – discuss your request with the parish clergy, asking that the death is not announced within the published bulletin/newsletter for that church and having a valid reason to support your request
- A funeral can be a highly emotive occasion, but kindness and compassion are the keywords. Whoever you feel aggrieved about (and whatever the reason) the common denominator here is a shared grief at the loss of someone who is loved and respected by you both. Occasionally, it is a key time when reconciliation does occur
- The late Queen Elizabeth II was an exemplar of quiet moral fortitude in the face of potential embarrassment, or even quiet anger. Remain calm, with head held high and an expressionless countenance. By remaining quietly polite and concerning yourself with those you are fond of, you will not provoke any unseemly reaction from the other party. If a reaction does occur; simply make a timely exit
- Do not sit next to them. perhaps, share your feelings with a good friend, or relative, who can be sure to sit between you during the service
- Choose to exit the venue keenly, making your way to a waiting car to take you home
- In complicated and potentially volatile situations; consider not attending in person, but have the funeral live-streamed to your device at home
- Speak to us; we will listen and – from experience – offer you advice (we are non-judgemental and experienced in this)
- If you are an Executor named in the Will – investigate the deceased’s personal finances and insurance policies – there may even be a Funeral Plan in place
- If there is no apparent Will – look into becoming an Administrator of the estate (apply for ‘Letters of Administration’ – yourself online, or via a Solicitor)
- If the estate is probably of low-value you may simply need to prove your relationship to the Bank, if funds are held there. The Bank will forward payment of our account directly from that account. The funeral account has legal preference over any other financial calls from the estate. You should not attempt to withdraw funds after the death has occurred, even if you have the deceased’s card and pin number
- Talk to us about the situation and we can advise in confidence
- If you are in receipt of certain benefits form the DWP, you may be eligible to make a claim against funeral costs. Talk to us first about this
- We can arrange a funeral via an online link (the family may live in different parts of the UK/abroad and still join in – nice, because ‘you can see the face behind the voice’) – or, via email (even better if you can sign and scan documents back to us)
- It may be an initial instruction call; then you later have to make the journey to Shropshire to deal with other practical elements and can visit us (or, us visit you) at that point in time
- You can finance the arrangements over the telephone, or BACS monies to us
- Did you see the person after they had died? – if so, did they look rested and at peace?
- If you have a good picture in your mind, hold that precious memory forever
- If you feel restless about having seen the person after they had died – perhaps it was not such good a picture to keep – then talk to us about a visit to see your loved-one in our private chapel
- If you did not have the opportunity to see your loved-one after their death and you need to; do request and discuss the opportunity for a chapel visit
- We are educators and professionals in the care of the dead and we always do our very best. ‘Mother Nature’ is not always kind, though – and despite our professional best, we may gently suggest that you might think carefully about the decision to visit. (We never say “No”, though – it is always completely your decision)
- All visits to our chapels are by appointment only – this ensures that visitors have privacy and peace to say their goodbyes
- We professionally prepare everyone to be visited; this includes shaving, as per your instructions, and dressing in clothing of your choice that you provide us with. Clothing is uniquely personal – as is each individual – so do what you know the person would want, to look ‘themselves’
